What Reality Check commands, I cannot refuse.
Position: Back-up Goalie.
Nickname: Gidget, Etch-A-Sketch
Playing in Front of Me: Andrei Markov, Mike Komisarek, Mike Johnson, Radek Bonk, Guillaume Latendresse (because then I would have to do very little actual work)
Job: Multi-lingual trash-talking, giving good interviews. Also, getting in the way of pucks.
Signature Move: Jumping to catch shots to the top corners.
Strengths: Quick lateral movement, rebound control.
Weaknesses: Having to jump to catch shots to the top corners.
Injury Problems? Do personality disorders count as injuries?
Equipment: And lots of it.
Nemesis: Martin Brodeur (GOALIE FIGHT!)
Scandal Involvement: A series of sordid, bizarre affairs with the back-up goalies of other teams, the ghastly details of which, when finally revealed, cause television ratings for hockey in the States to quintuple, but also cause a rash of emotional breakdowns throughout the goalie community as a whole, such that suddenly almost every game is getting decided 15-14 in a shootout. The Habs, mysteriously, remain immune.
Who I’d Face in the
What I’d Do With the
Would the Media Love Me or Hate Me? The MSM would declare me the worst thing to ever happen to professional hockey, but I’d have an obsessive cult following amongst the common people.
The rest of the league:
[And growing by the split-second. Too many forwards, not enough defensemen.]
There’s really no need for me to pass this on, but I will anyway: Tapeleg?
[Addendum- In case you haven't noticed, in the interest of fairness, I've been expanding the list as I find more. Conclusion thus far: all interesting, mostly creative, somewhat demented. In other words, good readin'.]