“It doesn’t get old, talking about these youngsters.”
–some Versus commentator
Yes, actually, it does. It really, really does. I wrote a fairly lengthy and fairly weird meditation these two and the differences between them, because they’re actually very interesting players. Now not only do I not want to post it, I don’t even want to think about it, I do not even want to type those two names. Listening to all these creepy old men repetitively lust after them for a whole week has gone from being funny to irritating to disturbing to soul-crushingly depressing. It’s gotten old. Totally old. There’s a fine line between promoting something and, well, beating it to death with a stick. They’ve beaten this to death with a stick.
1. If a woman was to talk about
2. The rest of the Pen Caps should just go join other teams where they might have half a chance in hell of being actually appreciated. The commentary on this game was disgusting. If Crosby, Ovechkin, or Malkin was not on the ice, the commentators weren’t talking about the game, hell, they weren’t even watching the game. They’d just ramble on with long, crazy anecdotes about shit that happened in like 1973, and then show
3. The Caps are actually looking quite interesting, much more so than I remember them being at the beginning of the season, and honestly I think they were clearly the better team on the ice tonight- better coordinated and most of the time stronger defensively, with a nicely muscular (if sometimes strategically misguided) style. I want to pay attention to them now. Props to Clark, by the way, for not only playing wonderfully in spite of his smashed face, but for playing wonderfully in spite of that crazy thing he has to wear to protect his face from getting even more smashed. It looks like it would be a gigantic distraction, but hell, the way he played the first part of this game, maybe everybody should get one. I’m still not sure how they managed to lose this.
4. The Penguins I still don’t get. Occasionally they get these bursts of non-Crosby-related energy where they work incredibly hard and do great things, but they still seem to revert to their strategy of taking bad shots, trying to make passes to teammates who aren’t there, and giving away the puck like it had cooties or something (Eeeww! We don’t want that!). They’re saving grace, aside from
5. However, I am beginning to really like Fleury, partly because of my aforementioned RDS-induced Quebecois Affection Syndrome, but mostly because I love the seizure-inducing-yellow pads. You’ve got to respect a guy who’s like, “Fuck this black-and-white uniform shit, I want to look like a dandelion and I’m damn well going to!” And in addition to being the sexiest fashion statement in contemporary goaltending, I suspect they may also have a tactical advantage- if the opposition’s forwards can’t look at you for more than 10 seconds without suffering stabbing eye-pain, it probably means they take worse shots. This is the real reason Ovechkin wears the tinted visor.
I know the NHL is trying to promote celebrity players to bring more attention to the sport, but they’re doing a terrible job of it. I already like hockey and this was a pretty interesting game, but the way they packaged it made me want to do nothing so much as change the channel. There’s no sense of humor or sense of style in their self-promotion, it’s like a 1950s kind of advertising wherein you repeat ‘[name of product] is good!’ over and over again. Honestly, I think it’d be better if they just gave Ovechkin (or hell, almost any player) a camera, told him to make a bunch of 30-second clips trying convince people to watch hockey, and broadcast those. It certainly couldn’t be more annoying or less entertaining then what they’re doing now, and at least it would have some credibility.
This Saturday is Crosby Night in